Sunday, 1 March 2015


On February 26, 2015, internet users were plunged into what is probably the most trivial great debate in history: An ugly dress was rapidly becoming the top-trending topic on all major news and entertainment websites, for one reason that I still can't readily decipher: no one could agree on the color of the dress. 

Since I usually tend to pay attention to more serious matters in the news, I was blissfully unaware of the dress and the worldwide stir it had created; that is until it suddenly appeared in my Facebook inbox. 

A friend had sent the photo to me, along with the caption, "What color is this dress, Dani?' I remember at first being confused as to why he would ask this. Wasn't it obvious enough what color it was? I saw only black and blue, and I told him so. He responded by inviting me to ask my family members and other friends what color the dress was. 

Still confused by his strange question and follow-up suggestion, I reluctantly forwarded the photo to another close friend, captioned by the same question, "What color is this dress"? To my surprise, my friend said the dress was white and gold. 

I was baffled. How, and where, could he possibly be seeing white and gold in a dress that was so obviously black and blue? I joked about it and told him he was color-blind. Shortly after that, I noticed that we weren't the only ones who couldn't agree on the color. Low and behold, my entire Facebook feed was covered with posts as to what color people saw the dress to be, with the hashtags #WhiteGold or #BlueBlack. 

I figured people were getting worked up about nothing at all; that perhaps the confusion as to what color the dress was could be easily explained: maybe the color calibration on their laptop screens/smartphone screens needed a bit of tweaking. When I showed the photo of the dress to my sister, though, and we were both looking at the same smartphone screen, she insisted that the dress was white and gold, while all I could see was black and blue. Clearly, the differences in colors that each person saw had nothing to do with screen color-calibration. 

I am not here to argue what color the dress is, since British company Roman Originals, the company which markets the dress, has confirmed that it is indeed blue and black. What I will say, however, is that the dress certainly is creepy. Something is definitely wrong here. I'm not buying the explanation provided by the neuroscientists about people's brains perceiving color differently in relation to the color or colors surrounding the object. I know for a fact that none of my friends and family members who saw white and gold are color blind: they don't seem to have any trouble at all recognizing colors in other photographs and objects. Yet people who are not color-blind stated that they clearly saw a white and gold dress where there was a blue and black one.

So, was it a trick? Was it some sort of mass experiment? Are we being punked? Should it even matter at all? What we need to do is stop disputing what color #thedress is and start wondering what major issue did they use this viral photograph to distract us from.

Wednesday, 28 January 2015


Photo Credit:

Ahhhh, January. The month when we're still recovering from Christmas and still glassy-eyed with new-year expectations. I was thinking it was too early in the year to rant about anything. Then I came across a little video by a little video blogger on YouTube that I found a little bit disturbing. 

Please take a moment to view this little video before further reading. I trust that, be you male or female, you will find it as offensive as I did.

Now that you've watched the video, let the uninterrupted ranting begin. You may wonder, since I find the video to be so distasteful, why I even watched it in the first place. If you can't picture me alighting upon such garbage truck material during my visits to YouTube, you are quite correct. I only happened upon this little guy because a friend of mine posted the video on Facebook. In that friend, I am truly disappointed.

I would have thought that this friend, who was raised by a strong single mother and claims to admire all strong women, would have found this video  offensive as well, but I guess I misjudged his character. So if you're reading this sweetie, I'm coming to get you. You know you were raised better than that. But I digress.

Quick question to my female readers: Does the dude in the above video look anything close to that breathtaking photograph of Idris Elba that currently graces this blog post? Does he? Are my spectacles working well enough? I had them changed just a couple of months ago; I think they are. The answer is no. He doesn't. Does he handle himself as gracefully as the stunning Idris Elba? (And I'm not referring to the various characters Elba plays in his movie roles; I'm talking about the way he carries himself off screen as well). The answer, once again, is no. As a matter of fact, this "hotdamirock" (as the pathetic little person refers to himself) lacks all the traits of a confident, self-assured man. Yet he refers to himself as an "Alpha Male".

I wasn't even two minutes into the video before I recognized him as a poser, claiming to be something he so obviously wasn't and assuming airs that he really has no business putting on. Now, I get that he probably wanted to go for shock value (after all, no one in his right mind can think it's okay to put a vlog out advising men to prey upon and exploit women with serious emotional issues). He's a little-known vlogger, or wannabe comedian, or both, trying to build a fan-base and attract an audience.

Still, you'd want to be careful about what you put out there as "entertainment". You may seriously offend some and dangerously mislead others. 

In the video (just in case you didn't watch it all the way through or didn't watch it at all) this dude is basically stating that the Alpha male "hunts" weak women and takes advantage of their weaknesses for his own sexual gratification. The women he referred to as "weak" were women who grew up without a father figure, women who were fresh out of a relationship and heartbroken, women who have self-esteem problems, etc. He went even further over the figurative cliff by stating that, if you failed to adapt this modus operandi when "hunting" women (he referred to women as "buffaloes", by the way), then you weren't an Alpha male; in stead you were nothing but a weak, second-rate "Pack" *insert racial slur here*.

First of all, to the young man who put this video out, shame on you. Shame on you for resorting to using derogatory names and analogies when referring to the gender responsible for bringing you into this world. Sure, there are rappers and singers doing it all the time, but if you were a true Alpha male, you wouldn't follow anyone's lead; you'd be enough of a self-starter to think of a creative way to attract an audience that isn't so overused and such a huge cliche.

Secondly, you have a mom, and you probably have sisters and other female relatives. Would the idea of a man using any of these female relatives in their weak moments sit well with you? I'll just leave that question to be pondered upon.

Thirdly, you obviously have no clue what an Alpha male is, so please stop going around spreading misinformation. There are a whole bunch of idiots out there fooling themselves into believing that they are Alpha males too, that are now your blind followers. For those idiots: Hint: Hint: Alpha males are NOT followers. 

For the benefit of the ill-informed, the following are five key characteristics of a true Alpha male.

1: The Alpha male is confident. 

Notice, I did not say arrogant or boastful. The Alpha male exudes confidence in that he does not need to brag about how awesome he thinks he is. In short, he does not have to refer to himself as an Alpha male. Why talk about what can already be seen by others?

2: The Alpha male has a strong protective instinct.

He is driven not to exploit, but to protect those he deems weaker than himself, or in danger. When the need arises, he will naturally protect his lady, his friends, and anyone else close to him, much like a lion protects its territory. 

3: He possesses magnetism

He draws people, both male and female to him. He doesn't go looking for attention. He doesn't have to be loud or obnoxious to be noticed. His very presence commands attention. 
4: The Alpha Male Welcomes Challenges

He practically goes looking for them. A true Alpha male will never consider any challenge to be out of his league; so this dude in the video talking about going for the "bottom apples" because the apples at the top are too high to bother reaching for needs a serious reality check.

5: The Alpha male is a perfectionist

And he expects and demands perfection from everyone around him. He is practically allergic to weakness in any form.
Very well. Now that we have run through the basics that make up an Alpha male, let's take a quick look at the guys on the other end of the Greek alphabet: the bottom-of-the-barrel men who settle for whatever they can get. The omegas.

Omega males usually trail far behind the Alpha and Beta males. They have trouble finding women, may it be for relationship purposes or for getting laid, simply because women do not find them appealing, physically or otherwise. The Omegas are the guys that aren't even lucky enough to be friendzoned; women place them in the category of "creepy" or "disgusting" or both, and men are embarrassed to be seen with them, possibly because they don't want to be labelled an Omega by association.

The Omega male usually suffers from severe low self-esteem and lacks true confidence, but hides it by adopting a "chip on the shoulder" attitude: he either behaves as though he doesn't need anyone and doesn't mind being a loner, or he becomes as loud and passive-aggressive as possible, since it's the only way anyone will take any notice of him. 

 Because women are not naturally drawn to him as they are to the Alpha male, he finds it necessary to adapt to alternative hunting mechanisms. He knows that confident, attractive, successful, strong women will not give him a second glance (they are too busy chatting up the Alphas and Betas) so he seeks out the women that he thinks are more attainable: namely the ones who may not think much of themselves, or may be hurting in one way or other. He then befriends such women, thinking "a shoulder to cry on can turn into a dick to ride on" (pardon my language). Sound familiar? It does to me, too. It sounds a lot like the dude who put out that dumb ass video.

You call yourself an Alpha male, but the Alpha male has no need to go "hunting"; women come to him. He's a magnet, remember? You call yourself an Alpha male, but an Alpha male never backs down from a challenge (isn't attaining a strong, self-assured woman, the "big buffaloes" you made reference to, a challenge? if you're such an Alpha, why run from the challenge)?

You call yourself an Alpha male, but your instinct is to exploit, not to protect. Want to know why all you can manage to get to are women with self-esteem problems and broken hearts? Because after the Alphas and Betas have already snagged all the confident, strong women, the broken ones are all that's left for you. Don't fool yourself sweetie, you're nothing but a bottom-rung Omega, and you need to step you game up.

Idris Elba is an Alpha male. Brad Pitt is an Alpha male. Denzel Washington is an Alpha male. You, my friend, are on the opposite end of the spectrum.

In closing, the Alpha male is often compared to the Lion; a King at ease in his territory. Have you ever seen a lion mate with anything other than a lioness? Think about it.

Saturday, 24 January 2015



You. I'm convinced that you heard my heart calling and came into my life. Convinced that you possess the ability to read my mind.Convinced that God thought of me as he fashioned you. Every part of me senses that we're soulmates. 
You seem to understand my passion and answer it with a passion of your own that resembles it so closely, it's almost one and the same. Your intensity caught me completely by surprise, but the burn was such that I couldn't help but feel it. 

You were tender, oh so tender in your loving. You paid such close attention in your listening. You were gentle in ways that touched my heart and blew my mind. You were into me like no man has ever been into me, and I saw it, felt it, in everything that you did, in every word that you said.

How could I not fall for you? You touched me without physically touching me. You made love to my mind without making love to my body. You loved me till I couldn't help but feel it. How could I not respond to something so beautiful? Doesn't a flower open up to sunlight? Doesn't the earth drink in the rain? Oh, how I had a drought. And oh, how I needed the rain. And you didn't just rain; you reigned.

Your love is so strong that it breaks your heart when I cry. Your love is so strong that you're worried sick when I'm not well. Your love is so strong that you can't sleep when I'm mad at you. What a cruel twist of fate that I will never be able to revel in the full onslaught of that love. What a shame that the man who isn't afraid of being vulnerable in front of me will never get the chance to see me in my vulnerable moments.

What you don't know is the extent of how much I love you. Not wanting to be selfish, I have held back in showing you. A love so deep that I can drown in my thoughts of you. A love so hard that it practically hurts. A passion so on fire that I know you can feel it, clear across the self-imposed boundaries that separate us.

If you ever get the chance to read these words, just know this: I love you like no other. This is a true story.