SO YOU THINK YOU'RE AN ALPHA MALE?

Photo Credit: datalounge.com

Ahhhh, January. The month when we're still recovering from Christmas and still glassy-eyed with new-year expectations. I was thinking it was too early in the year to rant about anything. Then I came across a little video by a little video blogger on YouTube that I found a little bit disturbing. 

Please take a moment to view this little video before further reading. I trust that, be you male or female, you will find it as offensive as I did.

Now that you've watched the video, let the uninterrupted ranting begin. You may wonder, since I find the video to be so distasteful, why I even watched it in the first place. If you can't picture me alighting upon such garbage truck material during my visits to YouTube, you are quite correct. I only happened upon this little guy because a friend of mine posted the video on Facebook. In that friend, I am truly disappointed.

I would have thought that this friend, who was raised by a strong single mother and claims to admire all strong women, would have found this video  offensive as well, but I guess I misjudged his character. So if you're reading this sweetie, I'm coming to get you. You know you were raised better than that. But I digress.

Quick question to my female readers: Does the dude in the above video look anything close to that breathtaking photograph of Idris Elba that currently graces this blog post? Does he? Are my spectacles working well enough? I had them changed just a couple of months ago; I think they are. The answer is no. He doesn't. Does he handle himself as gracefully as the stunning Idris Elba? (And I'm not referring to the various characters Elba plays in his movie roles; I'm talking about the way he carries himself off screen as well). The answer, once again, is no. As a matter of fact, this "hotdamirock" (as the pathetic little person refers to himself) lacks all the traits of a confident, self-assured man. Yet he refers to himself as an "Alpha Male".

I wasn't even two minutes into the video before I recognized him as a poser, claiming to be something he so obviously wasn't and assuming airs that he really has no business putting on. Now, I get that he probably wanted to go for shock value (after all, no one in his right mind can think it's okay to put a vlog out advising men to prey upon and exploit women with serious emotional issues). He's a little-known vlogger, or wannabe comedian, or both, trying to build a fan-base and attract an audience.

Still, you'd want to be careful about what you put out there as "entertainment". You may seriously offend some and dangerously mislead others. 

In the video (just in case you didn't watch it all the way through or didn't watch it at all) this dude is basically stating that the Alpha male "hunts" weak women and takes advantage of their weaknesses for his own sexual gratification. The women he referred to as "weak" were women who grew up without a father figure, women who were fresh out of a relationship and heartbroken, women who have self-esteem problems, etc. He went even further over the figurative cliff by stating that, if you failed to adapt this modus operandi when "hunting" women (he referred to women as "buffaloes", by the way), then you weren't an Alpha male; in stead you were nothing but a weak, second-rate "Pack" *insert racial slur here*.

First of all, to the young man who put this video out, shame on you. Shame on you for resorting to using derogatory names and analogies when referring to the gender responsible for bringing you into this world. Sure, there are rappers and singers doing it all the time, but if you were a true Alpha male, you wouldn't follow anyone's lead; you'd be enough of a self-starter to think of a creative way to attract an audience that isn't so overused and such a huge cliche.

Secondly, you have a mom, and you probably have sisters and other female relatives. Would the idea of a man using any of these female relatives in their weak moments sit well with you? I'll just leave that question to be pondered upon.

Thirdly, you obviously have no clue what an Alpha male is, so please stop going around spreading misinformation. There are a whole bunch of idiots out there fooling themselves into believing that they are Alpha males too, that are now your blind followers. For those idiots: Hint: Hint: Alpha males are NOT followers. 

For the benefit of the ill-informed, the following are five key characteristics of a true Alpha male.

1: The Alpha male is confident. 

Notice, I did not say arrogant or boastful. The Alpha male exudes confidence in that he does not need to brag about how awesome he thinks he is. In short, he does not have to refer to himself as an Alpha male. Why talk about what can already be seen by others?

2: The Alpha male has a strong protective instinct.

He is driven not to exploit, but to protect those he deems weaker than himself, or in danger. When the need arises, he will naturally protect his lady, his friends, and anyone else close to him, much like a lion protects its territory. 

3: He possesses magnetism

He draws people, both male and female to him. He doesn't go looking for attention. He doesn't have to be loud or obnoxious to be noticed. His very presence commands attention. 

4: The Alpha Male Welcomes Challenges

He practically goes looking for them. A true Alpha male will never consider any challenge to be out of his league; so this dude in the video talking about going for the "bottom apples" because the apples at the top are too high to bother reaching for needs a serious reality check.

5: The Alpha male is a perfectionist

And he expects and demands perfection from everyone around him. He is practically allergic to weakness in any form.

Very well. Now that we have run through the basics that make up an Alpha male, let's take a quick look at the guys on the other end of the Greek alphabet: the bottom-of-the-barrel men who settle for whatever they can get. The omegas.

Omega males usually trail far behind the Alpha and Beta males. They have trouble finding women, may it be for relationship purposes or for getting laid, simply because women do not find them appealing, physically or otherwise. The Omegas are the guys that aren't even lucky enough to be friendzoned; women place them in the category of "creepy" or "disgusting" or both, and men are embarrassed to be seen with them, possibly because they don't want to be labelled an Omega by association.

The Omega male usually suffers from severe low self-esteem and lacks true confidence, but hides it by adopting a "chip on the shoulder" attitude: he either behaves as though he doesn't need anyone and doesn't mind being a loner, or he becomes as loud and passive-aggressive as possible, since it's the only way anyone will take any notice of him. 

 Because women are not naturally drawn to him as they are to the Alpha male, he finds it necessary to adapt to alternative hunting mechanisms. He knows that confident, attractive, successful, strong women will not give him a second glance (they are too busy chatting up the Alphas and Betas) so he seeks out the women that he thinks are more attainable: namely the ones who may not think much of themselves, or may be hurting in one way or other. He then befriends such women, thinking "a shoulder to cry on can turn into a dick to ride on" (pardon my language). Sound familiar? It does to me, too. It sounds a lot like the dude who put out that dumb ass video.

You call yourself an Alpha male, but the Alpha male has no need to go "hunting"; women come to him. He's a magnet, remember? You call yourself an Alpha male, but an Alpha male never backs down from a challenge (isn't attaining a strong, self-assured woman, the "big buffaloes" you made reference to, a challenge? if you're such an Alpha, why run from the challenge)?

You call yourself an Alpha male, but your instinct is to exploit, not to protect. Want to know why all you can manage to get to are women with self-esteem problems and broken hearts? Because after the Alphas and Betas have already snagged all the confident, strong women, the broken ones are all that's left for you. Don't fool yourself sweetie, you're nothing but a bottom-rung Omega, and you need to step you game up.

Idris Elba is an Alpha male. Brad Pitt is an Alpha male. Denzel Washington is an Alpha male. You, my friend, are on the opposite end of the spectrum.

In closing, the Alpha male is often compared to the Lion; a King at ease in his territory. Have you ever seen a lion mate with anything other than a lioness? Think about it.