.....And The Lies They Tell Us
These days, when you meet someone, it's hard to tell if you're actually meeting the real him/her. With all the available options to completely change one's physical appearance, as well as the availability of social networks where persons can basically present themselves any way they choose to, you might want to slow down and tread carefully before you decide to start liking that new man/woman you met.
MEN FALL IN LOVE WITH WHAT THEY SEE....
Question to the gentlemen: how many times have you met a drop-dead-gorgeous woman, only to discover after deciding to spend the night with her that you were in for a big (and not necessarily pleasant) surprise when she took off her clothes/makeup?
I've certainly heard my share of horror stories. I've heard of a guy who went dancing with this chick on their first date, and, after a vigorous bout of busting moves, her eyebrows had somehow managed to dissolve, or, as he put it, she'd "sweat her eyebrows off".
I've heard of a woman who went on a blind date with a tall, sixpack-sporting, six-figures-earning dude she'd met on a dating site; imagine her utter shock when, upon meeting him, he turned out to be 5'4, overweight, and an employee at Burger King.
I've heard of a man who took a beautiful woman he'd met online to dinner, and was delighted to find that in person, she was even more beautiful than she'd looked in her photographs. One thing led to another and he took her home and made love to her. The beauty, before their lovemaking, insisted on two things: one, that he turn the lights out completely and two, that he performed only anal sex. Dude must have thought he hit the jackpot; a beautiful woman who enjoyed anal sex. The next morning 'she' told him she was born a man and was in the process of changing her gender. Yikes....
...AND WOMEN FALL IN LOVE WITH WHAT THEY HEAR
Ladies, we all know this is true. We've been told so many bullshit stories about "Prince Charming", the perfect gentleman with a good job, a handsome face and an engaging personality, that somewhere along the way, we've actually begun to believe that this "Prince" exists. A man may not have the looks or the money, but if he knows how to work his words, he might just work his way into a woman's heart.
A simple "you looked so beautiful when I saw you today", or an "I couldn't stop thinking about you, so I had to call", is enough to set the sucker-for-romance-type female's heart aflutter. And if her heart isn't fluttering, at least you made her smile, because you flattered her, and what woman doesn't enjoy being flattered from time to time, especially if she's not used to it?
Just by saying enough of the right things, a man can make a woman fall for him. Sadly, anyone can say amazing things without having any intention of following up with matching actions, and often, a woman finds this out the hard way.
SO WHY DO WE LIE TO EACH OTHER?
As a woman, I completely understand why women go the distance to present the best possible outlook to the opposite sex. We are bombarded on a constant basis by images everywhere of women with perfect bodies/hair/faces, and men are bombarded by these images too. Many women feel the pressure to look as much like these ethereal images as possible, fearing that if they don't, they won't be able to attract a good man, or any man, for that matter. So they head to the stores, the salons, the websites; anywhere that provides aides that can help them achieve physical perfection, with the hope that, in doing so, they won't be overlooked.
Men have been told for as long as possible that nice guys finish last; that the players-the smooth talkers with "swag"-are the ones that get the women. A man may easily begin to think that, though he may not be an Idris Elba or a Trey Songz, if he learns how to mess with a woman's emotions with pretty words, he might actually have a shot at winning over more than one woman.
Regardless of what we've been trained to think, though, many people still admire genuinity, and one of the sexiest attributes a person can possess is still self-confidence; the ability to truly feel comfortable in one's own skin. So, next time you approach the opposite sex, try presenting your true self (physically and otherwise) to him/her. At least you'll know that, if attraction occurs, it's the real you that they appreciate, and not whom you're pretending to be.